Choosing to be scared – What happens when you choose to do the very things that make you the most challenged? It’s autumn, my favorite time of year. I love the burnt-orange colors, the temperature, the crunching of leaves beneath my footsteps, and cold drizzle. I love being cocooned in familiar, broken-in sweaters which have patiently…
This photo was taken 6/14/14. We didn’t know it, but Kevin only had 2 more weeks left. Christmas Eve 2014, the hallmark of the end of a very bad year. After a day of hard laughter, dancing, eating and singing amid my favorite group of people, the night has quieted to four children who are on…
after death signs / dealing with death / dealing with grief after cancer / does life continue after death / grief / help someone with cancer / how to cope with being a widow / losing a loved one / signs from loved ones / Spirit / The Story of Us
Martin Luther King once said “Faith is taking the first step even when you can’t see the whole staircase.” And so, in that spirit, after the memorials (which I will write about later), I have forged ahead leaving our beloved, but over-the-top creepy old house. While it’s a gorgeous place, the creepiness was a major problem…
Memorial Two is coming up, to put the rest of Kevin to rest, high in a mountain like the Indian natives there, to rest in the dust with many who fought, lived and died on that mountain. On hidden cannonballs, on green places which now cover the blood of 40,000 men. I hope each ashy spec raises…
Of the vast multiple universes, both seen and unseen, we know one thing for certain: we are energy. I’ve often wondered if our physical bodies are nothing but houses for this energy. That our experiences here, in this heavy realm, are for the purpose only of learning to manipulate heaviness, to change the unchangeable, and navigate…
This is intensely personal, and I’ve only told one person this, but when Kevin took his last full breath, I accidentally breathed in as he breathed out. I didn’t know it would be his last breath. I simply woke up, checked on him, and inhaled as he exhaled. I literally inhaled his last, full breath. I was too…
Sorry for the double post Facebook friends, but I wanted to log this into the blog so I can reread it later. I’ve heard it said that music connects to heavenly realms easier because, being non-physical, it can be shared spiritually. An interesting idea. I walked Joey yesterday, listening to my ipod, begging Kevin to communicate…
Embarking on a new adventure: The SharkTank casting call I think we have a choice when it comes to mourning. I’m facing that now with our beautiful, money-pit of a home. I can stay and create a costly shrine and tribute to our life, or I can make a clean cut change and begin anew in…
Monday I saw a Facebook notice about a casting call to appear on the angel investor show, Sharktank. Since pulling life back together and have some free time, I figured what the hell. I have two inventions (one jointly shared by me & Kevin and the other is mine with his help too). I can…
Is heaven real? We have some crazy coincidences going on. Here are a few.
Kevin Thomas Kyle, devoted and gentle father, and long-awaited love of my life, passed peacefully at 2:35 am, today Saturday June 28th. Everyone in the family helped and took turns doing the midnight watch for meds – this time it was Brad’s turn, as I slept next to Kevin in our bed…
The big kids, friends and family have gone home. The hospice nurse and CNA were in earlier. Jesse and Chris are upstairs playing video games and Kevin is sleeping. Dishes are done. What bothers me is the quiet. I used to yearn for quiet. When I was single and the kids were older and out…
