Mom 2.0


Today is Monday, the day after an exasperating weekend with a stubborn child. – More stubborn than I, if that’s possible.  I got so angry I had to take a break. It took 5 hours out of the house, 2 lattes and putting an iPad on layaway before I calmed down. But I’m resolved to figuring this kid out. As I once told him, “I’m older, bigger and I was here first.” (on earth, that is). He seemed impressed.

Stepmoms have a great advantage – especially if we have our own kids. We are, in fact, MOM 2.0, the upgraded version. So I decided to create a little upgrade notice.

Welcome to MOM 2.0

Mom 2.0 has already raised five kids and knows all of the tricks. She’s seen all of it, and done most of it – well, at least what was popular in the 1980s.

Here’s what MOM 2.0 comes with standard:

  • Eyes in the back of my head
  • The uncanny ability to know what kids are whispering about
  • The ability to tell whether or not you’ve actually had a shower
  • Able to intrude the privacy of your room at the worst possible moment
  • Networking ability. I’m not afraid to meet your teachers or speak to your incompatible mom who can no longer communicate with your dad.
  • MOM 2.0 still comes with RULES CLASSIC, the impervious, timeless operating software. Here’s how RULES work:


Me: “Please put your shoes away. We don’t leave our shoes in the middle of the living room.”

Child: “Why not?”

Me: “Because those are the rules.”

– end of conversation.


3 thoughts on “Mom 2.0

  1. I totally agree I’m a 2.0 Mom too! A thankless job but the balance to everything that makes their world go around. Remember God put us into their lives to help; mold and assist and every time we do we are that much closer to our angel wings! 😉 The greatest gift of all in return from them … THEIR HUGS and LOVE. Unconditional love it speaks louder than anything!


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